Never-never land, castles fit for princess living, long gorgeous flowing dresses with beautiful trains that trail for miles, fairy godmothers and happily ever afters are all images I vividly remember from my childhood.
I remember swaying on a tree swing, looking up at a blue North Carolina summer day sky and dreaming of a wonderful man that would sweep me off my feet. I pictured the texture of his hair, the shade of his eyes and since I had never been kissed at that point- I wondered what our very first encounter would feel like.
I longed for an incredible story about being rescued, being captivated by the embodiment of my perfect, ideal mate standing in front of me. I wanted to walk down the isle and watch tears fill in my father’s eyes as he presents me to this new leading man in my life.
I could sit for hours and remember the hope and desire I felt in my heart and soul as a child about my future in relationships.
However, it seems the older I get, and the more men that pass through my life- my fear of never finding “Prince Charming” only grows steadily.
I’ve had countless discussions with all my girlfriends- each of them- regardless if they are in committed relationships or not- wonders what the future will hold and can’t help but feel a stinging pinch in their stomach when the thought of being single…forever… crosses their mind.
Many women seem to be waiting for this amazing man to come along and are continuously getting sick and tired of hanging around wondering when he’s going to show up.
Well ladies, hanging around and being consistently available and anticipant of Mr. Right’s arrival isn’t the best decision to make.
Sitting around, dreaming, wondering, and creating a near-impossible idea of this man in your mind- will only make you lonely, scared and bored!
If your mister wonderful isn’t knocking on your door right now- it doesn’t mean he never will, but it does mean you should focus your attention on other activities.
Although fairytales convinced us that our “other half” is out there, and we are not complete without their presence in our lives- that is far fetched idea from reality. The most attractive quality a woman can encompass is a quiet confidence in herself- regardless if she has guy candy next to her or not.
Figure out who you are. Go for a hike. Take a walk in the park. Apply for an internship. Advance your career. Be spontaneous. Take a trip somewhere. Have martinis with your girlfriends. Dance on a bar and don’t care what someone will think. Adopt a puppy. Go on five millions dates with anyone who interests you. Say no to those you don’t like. Take a bubble bath. Paint your fingernails. Play in the rain. Smile at strangers. Live with intent, ambition and purpose. Live the life you want to live.
A man is never going to complete a void you may feel. If you feel an empty space in your heart or in your life- it’s your job, not prince charming’s responsibility to rescue you from that space and fill it up with his “lovey-dovey ness.”
You are accountable for your life, your actions and the way you feel about the amount of content in your life.
Think about it- if you go out with someone that seems like he’s desperate for someone to change his life for him- or fill a place that seems incomplete- aren’t we immediately turned off?
Don’t we long for a self-assured, successful, charming man that is amazed by who we are- but challenge us to chase them? Challenges us to be better people? We don’t want to be the missing puzzle piece to complete the puzzle of a man’s life- and he doesn’t want that either.
No one wants to feel needed from the very beginning. And frankly, you never need anyone more than you need yourself. Focus your energy on yourself, your career, your friendships and the items that should be of utmost priority in your life right now. And perhaps, relationships shouldn’t top the charts at this point.
Believing in fairytales and in magic moments isn’t something you should stop doing, but it is something you should stop looking for.
When the time is right, and the person is right, you will meet him and your worries about this will come to an end. He won’t necessarily rescue you, because you don’t need to be liberated from a life without him. But he will add a special element to your life that will hopefully make you incredibly happy.
But nothing will compare to that happiness if you are positively content, and successful alone before you commit to someone else. When both partners in a relationship are flourishing, confident and satisfied with the lives they live alone- putting those lives together creates nothing short of happily ever after.
http://chickspeak.com/blog/2007/12/11/build-your-own-castles-be-the-princess-of-your-life/
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