What's on Your Relationship Resume?

A woman is a climber.

She wears sturdy gear, like expensive high-heels, heavy-hold hairspray, and a smile on her face to protect herself from the world.

She faces harsh conditions, failures, disappointments and several outcomes she never expected. Yet, with every distress, she sees it as a chance to improve herself, and when she finally climbs another step on the ladder of success- she marks it on her resume’ and continues on the march up.

Why is it, then, when climbing over the many mountains of relationship struggles, do women forget to put disappointments and shortcomings on their relationship resume?

If the career chain is full of resumes that constantly change and improve, why isn’t the relationship world defined by resumes too? I’m not saying that when a woman meets a mister wonderful, she should hand him her Vera Wang scented pink resume’, that would surely scare away anyone, man or not. But mentally or possibly written down for your own use, it’s not a bad idea to keep track of what you’ve learned, and what you’ve accomplished in every relationship…or kind-of-relationship.

It seems that women automatically look to themselves when something goes wrong with a possible or current partner, and criticize ourselves relentlessly to figure out what WE did wrong. We then place all the blame on ourselves, fall into a pit of empty ice cream containers, and scratched Sex & the City DVDs, and wallow in our misery of a relationship gone astray. Yet, in the career or school setting, when we make a mistake, we do analyze what we did incorrectly and improves ourselves. We then do not make the same mistake again, and we write down a new achievement to give to possible career aspects.

Wouldn’t it be benefiting to learn from the mistakes you made- or your partner made- in past relationships, and not drag them into the next loving connection?

It may sound silly, and a little juvenile, but you will feel so relieved once you’ve written down everything you’ve learned from each man you’ve encountered. It’s not a bad idea to concentrate on good qualities you liked in someone as well; employers like to see positive qualities over negative ones, don’t they?

Your relationship resume may look something like this:

Jane A. Doe

Star Characteristics: Sexy, successful and sweet.

University: Perfect Point USA University

Degree: Public Relations, in progress

Applicable Experience: 3 serious boyfriends

Countless dates and non-relationships

OBJECTIVE: To be comfortable with myself and to learn from past relationships about what I want to achieve in future relationships. I hope to meet a man that fits my needs, and I fit his.

EDUCATION

High School: Dated Mark for three years

• I liked:
  • Smile
  • Chemistry
  • Communication skills
  • Making out
  • Being his cheerleader girlfriend
• I disliked:
  • Him always flirting with other girls
  • My jealousy
  • His stupidity (aka- C’s in regular science)
  • Him going away for college
  • His best friend

College:

Freshman year: sort-of-dated John

• I liked:
  • Sneaking into his all-boy dorm
  • Exploring new kissing methods
  • Feeling older and more mature
• I disliked:
  • He didn’t want to be exclusive
  • I saw him with another girl
  • He chose another girl over me

Sophomore Year: Dated Cameron four months

• I liked:
  • Our perfect first date
  • Him being a gentleman
  • Taking things slow
  • Crazy, exciting dates
  • The first time he said “I love you”
• I disliked:
  • Him moving to Spain for a year
  • Him choosing his career over me

Everyone’s relationship resume will look different, and some will have resumes longer than others, but they each tell the story of where we’ve been, what we’ve learned, and what we want.

Instead of punishing yourself for ruining yet another “perfect” relationship, learn from your mistakes, and from the parts that were difficult.

Ask yourself why you were jealous, if you had a reason to be, why you weren’t comfortable, or why you were with him to begin with.

Then you can put on K.T. Tunstall’s “Black Horse and a Cherry Tree”, your red Manolos, and realize the vibrant, amazing and unique woman you are- instead of looking at all the negativity of your past, and instead, feel at ease with the unknown of the future.

You may find peace in just letting go every tiny, little, critically analyzed piece of information you can think of.

God knows you don’t want to have all of those questions running through your head when you go out on another date with someone new.

So decorate your relationship resume however you want, pink with Vera Wang, or unscented and legal-size white paper- jot it all down and read over it before you start getting involved in your next relationship.

It will remind you of the climb you’ve endured, and give you faith that the peak of the mountain is closer than you expect.

http://chickspeak.com/blog/2007/11/30/whats-on-your-relationship-resume/