What's in a Kiss?

It’s the inevitable increasing heart rate, followed by sweaty palms, and a gushing sigh. It’s the curiosity of another person, the anticipation of the first move, and the intensity of something unfamiliar suddenly becoming quite familiar.

A kiss.

It’s shared between thousands of people every day in multiple varieties, and often causes women to rack their brains in search of a deeper meaning. In fact, women have been trying to decode the unusual characteristics of men since the two species discovered one another.

From examining how long it takes for him to call and whether or not he opens the door on the first date to where he puts his hands when he holds you in his arms, women analyze every verbal and non-verbal movement.

Aretha Franklin may declare that the key to unlocking every intention of a man simply lays in his kiss…but does it really?

According to an article published last year in the New York Times, researchers have tried for centuries to decode the meaning of a kiss. Many cultures and icons in history have their own definition a kiss. Martin Von Kempe, a 17^th-century polymath composed a 1,000-page encyclopedia on kissing explaining his opinion on 20 different varieties.

Charles Darwin noted that kissing “is replaced in various parts of the world by the rubbing of noses.” In Africa, the Pacific, and the Americas, cultures did not know about kissing until they were introduced to European explorers, and most thought of kissing as rather disgusting. In sixth century France, dancing was used to display affection and each dance generally ended with a kiss, according to syncrat.com.

At one point, it was even hypothesized that the reason people found kissing pleasurable was because when two lips met, it created an actual electric current.

Although kissing has a history and definition that is described differently throughout every culture, men, in general, have few classifications of lip locking. According to a study conducted at the University of Albany by psychologist Gordon Gallup, men aren’t too picky about kissing. In fact, most men reported that if a kiss isn’t exactly up to par, they will still continue to pursue a sexual relationship and kiss-less sex doesn’t bother them. Gallup went on to conclude that men and women have developed differently ideologies about kissing over time. For a man, kissing is the first step on a sexual ladder, where a woman sees a kiss as a ‘mate assessment device’.

In fact, according to the study, Gallup concluded that men enjoy more saliva in a kiss because it encourages hormonal reactions, while women are more concerned with a man’s breath, and whether or not the kiss could be the stem to more meaningful kisses.

A man’s kiss alone, without other factors, does not define how he feels about a woman. If a woman kisses a man at a party or bar after a round of shots or martinis, his kiss is not going to be a kiss that Aretha proposes defines their ‘love’ for her.

Finding the core significance of a man’s feelings is not by the interlocking of their lips with a woman’s, but by the actions and affections he demonstrates towards her.

Anyone can physically perform a kiss, as Webster defines as “the act of caressing the lips”. However, when a man really shows his love or fondness for someone, it’s not something that just anyone can do. According to Jaleh Donaldson, a columnist for Associated Content, there are sure ways to decode a man’s feelings for a woman.

When a man loves a woman (yes, I may be referring to Percy Sledge lyrics), he will be loyal to her, call her frequently, have the desire to see her, the drive to go places and do things with her, he will spend money on her, show her good manners, will only want to date her, and believe it or not, he will actually say ‘I love you’.

Aretha may have encouraged women of all ages to take the plunge and test the kissing waters of the men they are interested in, but she was not accurate in leading them in interpreting a man’s feelings. If you want to know if he really loves you, spend time with him, pay attention to his actions around you, listen to what he says to you, and most importantly, communicate.

If that communication involves a little smooch here and there, that can’t be bad for you either. Just don’t let it be everything.

http://chickspeak.com/blog/2007/10/10/whats-in-a-kiss/