Everyone has a great story. Life is measured by the experiences we endure, and the people that cross our pathways –both of which help guide the pen with which we write.
The older we get and the more knowledge we gain –we write the book of our lives page by page.
To get to the last chapter, we must remember the first chapter –and we can’t enjoy the middle without reflecting to the past, and to the future.
In relationships, there are many sections dedicated to romance and falling in love. We all must write the pages dedicated to first loves, last loves and everything in between.
We also must consider that everyone has a story of their own –just like we do, and part of the beauty of watching two stories grow together is remembering where they started.
At this stage in our lives –the late teens and 20-somethings- we are young, vibrant, growing and gorgeous, and we’re going to stumble upon men we easily could fall head over heels for.
To prevent messy jealous situations –we must remember the men we date have a past, and they will have a future, but right now –we are their present.
Ever since you first decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend in the second grade, you no longer have a “first relationship.” While you will engage in new relationships, they are not your first and most likely, they won’t be your last.
And for your new man –he probably has loved someone before you, and he could love someone after you –but right now, in this special moment and frozen piece of time –he loves you…and you should enjoy it.
It’s hard not to wonder what lies in the pages previous to you and what he could have experienced in the years before he ever laid eyes on you –but we must realize that now, he is with us, and that’s his decision.
Plus, being thankful that you weren’t his very first love isn’t such a bad idea either. First loves are a learning experience in figuring out how we work in relationships –what we like, what we don’t and what we want ultimately from a partner.
Each relationship you’ve had –or he’s had, will help your relationship to be healthier and happier –if both of you can let go of yesteryears. After all, you both did decide to be exclusively with one another, and I’m guessing that choice was based on a pretty solid foundation.
If he didn’t want to be in a relationship, just like if you didn’t –he wouldn’t be. He’s with you, he chooses you, he picked you –regardless if he’s screaming from the rooftop about it, or whispering it in your ear. He wants to be with you, and he has set his past aside in the first chapters –where it belongs.
Now, you have to, too. It’s impossible to create a healthy, exciting and functioning relationship if one partner or both are bringing up times long gone. A relationship involves two people –not those people and everyone they’ve ever loved or been involved with.
A relationship should be intimate, personal and a union between two individuals that care about one another. Sometimes love branches from that connection, and sometimes it may not. Regardless, if a couple isn’t willing to let go of experiences in the past, and grow for their future –a relationship will never develop…and definitely love will never stem.
When following the yellow brick road to our dreams, we must keep our eyes focused towards today, and not worry about what tomorrow may bring, or what yesterday could have caused.
Besides, to write happily ever after and thus, seal the “book of our life”, we really are just writing a new opening paragraph, a preface, or introduction.
Except this time, someone else is helping us guide our pen.
http://chickspeak.com/blog/2008/03/22/letting-go-of-the-past-in-your-relationships/
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