Love in Four Years: Dating in College

It’s unmistakable, completely desirable and most of the time, entirely unattainable at a moment’s notice.

Love.

It’s something we all crave, dream about, indulge in, and try to find.

However, once we find something that possibly could lead to love –we back away at the first indication of imperfection.

Like all good things in life, college relationships require work. They certainly aren’t easy, and if we want the bright shining pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, we have to be willing to go through the rainstorm.

Disney, advertisements and romantic movies depict a type of love that’s typically smooth sailing right from the beginning –and falling in love happens at first sight.

This type of relationship, or love, is unrealistic and shouldn’t be something anyone strives for. The best type of relationship –that endures the test of time, doesn’t start off after one date, or one amazing kiss.

Falling in love during college should be gradual, natural and gently progressive. Both partners should be willing to realize and take note of complications that could (and mostly likely will!) develop.

Timing

One person is going one way, the other is going another direction –and ultimately they just want to end up in the same place, at the same time. But it’s just not that easy sometimes.

When you least expect it, and possibly when you really don’t want something in your life –is the moment when a relationship, or mister wonderful comes knocking at your door.

In college; summer internships, studying abroad, extended vacations and being separated over lengthy breaks can make it difficult to feel in sync with your possible mate.

While you can’t control when someone walks into your life, you can handle the situation if he comes at an undesirable time.

Go ahead and test the relationship. Test the passion and chemistry that seems so perfect. See if the same feelings remain after a summer of phone calls and Facebook messages. Be patient and believe that what’s meant to be will find it’s way to you. Sure it’s a lot of extra work and you have to be willing to put yourself out on a limb, but in the end –it could be worth it.

Sincerity

Trust isn’t the simplest thing to develop. Either you give it too freely, or not easily enough. We’ve all been burned, hurt and disappointed. It’s easy to write off every love affair as a mistake and pretend it never happened –just because it caused you pain.

But then you don’t learn. Then you can’t shape your next relationships into something beautiful. You have to struggle before you can find peace and comfort in a relationship.

He may not be like every other guy you’ve dated and he might be. Regardless, everyone deserves a chance and an opportunity to prove themselves.

Developing a foundation of trust takes a while, and the slower you move, the more you get to know someone and you can figure out if they are worthy of your trust, attention, or possible love.

It’s Only Four-ish Years

While the new national average for duration in college is five years –historically most undergraduate students receive their degree in four.

That’s only eight semesters to meet, develop and enjoy a loving, lasting relationship. While it may seem like a long time, it’s not easy to find someone who wants the same things you want out of life.

Furthermore, if you’re lucky enough to meet someone and fall in love, what happens after college? What if you get a job offer in New York City and he’s offered somewhere overseas?

There are going to be logical and distance-perplexities that will arise in college relationships because ultimately, college is the starting line to the race of our lives. We start here, but where we go, is always up in the air.

Sacrifices may have to be made to make a relationship work, and those decisions aren’t always easy to make. Make sure to determine if this is something you’d like to see last long-term before you change any of your girl-on-the-go plans.

A man who is crazy about you –would never ask you to settle or hold back for him –but rather encourage you to chase your dreams…even if they lead you away from him.

Cha Cha Cha Changes

Inevitably, we all change as we go through different experiences, struggles, achievements and issues. Part of the beauty of life is realizing when change is in the forecast, and how to embrace it.

While change is mostly always good and teaches you to grow, it sometimes pushes people apart. While you’re changing and growing, so is your partner and those transformations may transform your relationship…and possibly even end it.

And really, that’s okay. Whatever is meant to be, will find its way to you –and if early changes in a relationship make you drift apart, he was never your one and only to begin with.

Keep Yourself

However much work a relationship, or a possible new partnership may require –it is always important to keep a grip on who you are, what you want and what you deserve.

If a relationship is more work than enjoyment, and more worry than wonder –don’t waste your time, and certainly don’t desecrate all the love you have to give.

Keep your eyes open to what you desire and remember the love we have for ourselves, and personal value we put on our heart is more important than any relationship with a man.

But, if he does seem worth it, and brings an abundance of joy and excitement, passion and security to your life –give him a shot, and be prepared to get your hands dirty from time to time.

Hard work does pay off in the end, after all.

http://chickspeak.com/blog/2008/03/31/college-relationships-love-in-four-years/